Of Hangovers, Brats and Morning Glory
by SunSpell80
Summary: Outtake from Chapter 18 of The Art of Staying Good. Johanna and Finnick's phone call.


A/N: An outtake from Chapter 18 of "The Art of Staying Good"

I'm currently writing Chapter 19 and realized this just didn't fit in.

Can be read separately, but it might be difficult to understand some of the references.

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Warnings: Sexual content

Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games

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Of Hangovers, Brats and Morning Glory

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Of all the enemies Johanna had encountered, "Hangover" was the fiercest and most bitter foe. It drummed against the inside of her skull and yanked her stomach inside out. The only weapon she had against it was a cool washcloth and a bed to lie in. So when one of The Brats started hollering at her from downstairs, she was understandably loathe to leave the state of relative numbness she'd achieved.

"Jo-o!" The irritatingly high-pitched voice squealed. "Phone for you!"

Johanna groaned and rolled over. Of course it was for her. She knew realistically it was probably Haymitch, making sure she hadn't hung herself yet, but an icy prickle of fear crept up her spine when she thought about the only other person to ever call. It had been just once but all it had taken was one phone call to leave her white and trembling in the kitchen.

So it was with this thought in mind that she fell out of bed and ran downstairs. She didn't want Snow so much as talking to any of The Brats.

Juniper, the oldest, was the one on the phone and from the expression on her face – not to mention the casual way she was curling the cord around her finger – it was probably not Snow. Johanna snatched the phone away from her and Juni whined in the way only a nine-year-old could. "No! Jo! I want to talk to him!"

"Tough. Scram, Brat." Johanna ordered, cracking her knuckles menacingly. Juni paled and scampered off while Johanna was left filled with relief. Juni was smart enough to not be excited about the President calling, so it probably was Haymitch. "Sorry about that." She wondered why Juni had been so reluctant to give up the phone. Was she developing a liking for Haymitch?

The silky laugh on the other end of the line was far from Haymitch's wheezy chuckle. "Don't be. I love kids."

It took her half a second to place the voice. "Odair?" Then she processed his statement and scowled. "Ugh, you would." Since getting to know Finnick a little better, she'd come to the disappointing realization that he had gooey sweetness flooding his veins. The rest of him was pretty decent though, so Johanna was willing to forgive him that egregious flaw.

"You don't?" He sounded surprised, like she'd just confessed to not liking sleep or breathing.

"Not right now." Johanna scowled and rested her head against the fridge. "They're okay in small doses, but not when your entire extended family goes off on a logging trip and leaves all The Brats behind for you to watch the morning after you decide to go through an entire bottle of Tequila in one night."

"I suppose that's understandable." Finnick sounded far too awake. She wanted to hit him with something heavy, but he was all the way in District Four. "So Jo–"

"No." She cut him off. "The Brats call me that, but they're not technically allowed to and once I hang up, I'm going to beat them within an inch of their lives. So if you want to keep your balls next time we meet, you won't call me that again." As soon as the thought crossed her mind, she added darkly, "Actually, you might thank me for that."

She surprised to hear him laugh good-naturedly. "Maybe not. I actually put them to good use just now."

Johanna wrinkled her nose. "Ugh, thanks for the visual. Wait, are you in the Capitol?" She hadn't seen anything of him on the news and he was just there a few weeks ago.

"Nope." His voice was smug and he popped the "p" sound loudly. "I'm home. I just woke up with a hard-on and took care of it myself."

"Good for you." Johanna sang back sarcastically, hoping he hadn't called just to tell her this. Then her eyes widened. "Wait, don't tell me that actually is a big deal for you." It was still difficult to sort out the cocky, sleazy charmer she knew from her television and the wounded, genuinely nice guy she'd just started to know. He didn't respond so Johanna let out an exasperated sigh. "Well, aren't you a sad son of a bitch?" She drawled, thinking that if she were him she wouldn't want any sympathy right now.

"The warmth of your friendship is overwhelming, Johanna." Fortunately he seemed more amused with her than anything else. "Anyway, I thought you'd like to know, since you were so interested in the details of my sex life before."

The grin snuck onto her face without her realizing it. "Does that mean that you're planning on actually having a sex life now?" A very small part of her hoped he would say yes and that he had seen the wisdom of her ways, because she had the sense that the upcoming Games were going to be hell and she could use a nice distraction. Then she remembered the look on his face when she'd come onto him and the way he'd basically imploded at the very idea of having a choice in who slept with. No, it would be more trouble than it was worth. He'd need someone far more patient and gentle than Johanna to deal with his shit. Besides, Johanna had woken up screaming with the feeling of Capitol hands on her several times in the past few weeks. She didn't need to add Finnick's nightmares to her own.

Luckily he didn't seem interested either. "Slow down, I just jerked off." He laughed again, like he was indescribably pleased to be saying those words. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, pretty boy." If Finnick was already masturbating a couple of weeks after she implanted the notion that sex could be good into his head (it boggled Johanna's mind that he could actually be afraid of sex, and offered a frightening picture of what she could potentially be like five years down the road), Johanna had no doubt that sex would follow eventually. Especially since he had a girl back home who was apparently aware of his difficulties and still very much interested in him. She was pretty too – Johanna had gone back and watched the tapes of the Games and Victory Tour before hers – in a fragile and un-Victorly way. Totally nuts, but that was the Games for you… "Have you told anyone else about your magical, romantic evening with your right hand?" She asked evilly.

There was silence on the end of the line. Then a snort. "Three things. One, it was this morning, just now, remember? Two, I'm left-handed."

"Really." Johanna drawled like this was the most interesting piece of news she'd ever heard in her life.

"Technically I'm ambidextrous, since they would always smack my hand with a ruler and make me use my right hand in school. So I can use both, but I favor my left."

"Wow." She stretched the word out as long as she could. "My entire perspective on you has changed. Everything just became so clear."

"Third, hell no. They just gave Mags a cane at the hospital and she's been using every excuse to abuse me with it. Why would I willingly throw myself into the line of fire?"

Johanna chuckled. "I've got to meet Mags. I'm sorry I missed out on her during the Tour. Haymitch swears by her."

"I've said it before and I'll say it again: Haymitch is far more clever than I gave him credit for. Mags is the most wonderful and least appreciated of all the Victors."

"Well, isn't somebody a suck-up." Johanna looked out the window, where all The Brats had congregated to build snow forts. "But Mags isn't your only friend, is she?"

His response was delayed and strained with discomfort. "You're hilarious, Mason."

"Wasn't joking."

He was silent again. After a while he replied too-lightly: "If you're talking about Annie, she would probably die of embarrassment the second I mentioned the word 'masturbate' to her." He wasn't touching on the heart of the matter. Suddenly Johanna remembered something Haymitch had implied once, about their phone calls being recorded. If there was even the slightest chance of Snow overhearing this, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to even suggest the possibility of a relationship between Panem's most eligible bachelor and District Four's mad Victor. Finnick's voice relaxed again. "Face it, you're the only one in my life I can talk to about these things."

Johanna felt herself grin. Whether it was because of his admission or the sight of The Brats entrenching themselves in preparation for a snowball fight, she didn't know. "Oh no. Does that mean I should look forward to more of these calls in the future?"

"Come on. Hearing my voice first thing in the morning just made your day."

"Yeah, and next time I'll know the proper response to 'Johanna, I just masturbated' is 'Congratulations' not 'Why the fuck are you telling me?'" Finnick chuckled. "Hey, do you think there's a possibility Snow could hear this conversation?" She added lightly, like the thought had just occurred to her.

Now he was genuinely laughing. "God, I hope so." He managed between bursts. "That would be just too fantastic."

Johanna pictured Snow listening in on the recording with a disapproving frown and started laughing too. "If whoever is listening to this now has any sense, they won't forward this to him. But I'd pay anything to see the look on his face."

"He'll never look at my left hand the same again." Finnick managed to compose himself to say seriously, and Johanna dissolved into a fit of embarrassingly girlish giggles. "We're probably going to get in trouble." He added, this time his seriousness genuine.

She waved this concern off though he couldn't see her had. "We're allowed to have fun. It's not a crime. And we do so much for our dear President anyway." Johanna regretted this last bit because suddenly the mood turned sour. She tried to sound upbeat and added, "So, after such a spectacular start, what are your plans for the rest of the day?"

"I've got to be down at the Training Complex in – oh shit, less than an hour now." She heard the sound of dishes clattering in the background and guessed that he was hurriedly cleaning up his breakfast.

"Training?" Johanna scowled. "What do you need Training for? You already won the Games, didn't anyone tell you?"

"Oh thanks, I totally forgot." He copied her drawl from earlier. "I'm not a trainee, I'm a trainer. Mid-range fighting, a few sessions a week."

Johanna thought about how the only time she could legally throw her axes was when she was out logging and couldn't contain her jealousy. "You're such a fucking Career."

It was an uncalled-for attack but Finnick let it roll right off him. "I'm actually less of a Career than most District Four Victors," he reminded her and Johanna remembered that he'd won at fourteen and unless he was a complete idiot probably hadn't Volunteered. "Besides, Mags was the original Career so I refuse to take that as an insult."

"Was she really?" Johanna asked, genuinely interested.

"Yeah. She set the precedent for Volunteering. It saved a lot of kids' lives."

Johanna wanted to say that no, the same the number of kids were dead regardless, so no one had been saved at all. But that wasn't the sort of thing you say on a tapped phone line. "Why are you panicking about the time? I didn't think Victors' Village was too far from your town in District Four."

"It's not." Finnick agreed. "But I wanted to work out. I guess I could just run there and kill two fish with one spear…it's not nearly far enough though, I'll be fidgeting all day."

The opportunity was too good. "If you find yourself with too much excess energy, you can go beat another one out in the bathroom.

Another laugh. "On that lovely note, I think I'll hang up and get going. Thanks for listening."

Well, she did owe him a massive favor, but Johanna wasn't going to bring that up. Being indebted to someone was an irritating thing to live with so she'd have to figure out a way to pay him back. Since her original plan of offering up sex had gone so terribly, she'd have to find another option. In the meantime, she found herself actually enjoying his camaraderie. "Any time." She offered, finding that she actually meant it. "I'm typically here, going crazy with boredom or going crazy from The Brats. If one of them picks up don't you dare corrupt them," She added warningly. "My aunts will have my head on a platter."

"Will do." He promised. "Have a lovely day, Johanna."

She hung up the phone and scoffed. Lovely day? She was stuck at the house and one of The Brats was bound to throw a chunk of ice or a snow-covered rock at one of the others during the ongoing fight, which she would be blamed for. Johanna rubbed her head against the fridge a bit more before pushing off toward the back door to join The Brats in their games.

If she was going to get in trouble anyway, she might as well have some fun in the meantime.

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A/N: Just a nice little glimpse into Johanna's home life. Hope you guys enjoyed!


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